hollow.

A gorgeous bouquet of pink roses and lilies, dinner at a classy waterfront restaurant where the sun set and the sailboats slid by, and he opened every door. Perfection.

Then he asks to steal a kiss as his truck idles at the foot of my driveway.

Memories come flooding back. Past loves I knew inside and out. When they held me they held ALL of me: the lovely, unique, ugly, quirky, and flawed.

What did this stranger want to kiss?

So shyly I smile, shake my head, and feel my heart turn heavy as I trudge up the driveway.

One day I'll get the real thing.

solitude.

So many thoughts swimming around, but I'll wait to spill them out another day. For now I have only one. And that is this:

I LOVE time to myself. Possibly an unhealthy amount. To the point that I am wondering if this is something I need to work on. Something to ponder this summer, I suppose. For now I'll just enjoy. :)

My mantra for the summer?

"Cherish your solitude. Take trains by yourself to places you have never been. Sleep alone under the stars. Learn how to drive a stick shift. Go so far away that you stop being afraid of not coming back. Say no whenever you don't want to do something. Say yes if your instincts are strong, even if everyone around you disagrees. Decide whether you want to be liked or admired. Decide if fitting in is more important than finding out what you're doing here. Believe in kissing."
-Eve Ensler