seesaw.

You know, it's funny. I haven't posted on here much, though it's not for lack of trying. You see, I'm a perfectionist and I generally need a lot of time to write. Obviously my busy life isn't conducive to my ideal writing conditions. I have, however, tried to get in the habit of hopping on here to at least start a draft when I'm struck by something. And let me tell you, that has taken a lot of discipline. I HATE leaving things unfinished. It makes me feel so unproductive.

But here's the trouble: almost every time I return to finish a post, I find it's not relevant anymore. That happened to me today. I started a post just this afternoon, and now reading through it less than twelve hours later, I find that my thoughts and feelings have already changed. Knowing my unsteady, volatile heart, however, I'll probably be feeling that way again tomorrow. Or next week. Or maybe even a month from now. I have a tendency to bounce back and forth that way. A little like a seesaw.

Cute, eh? Credit

This flip-floppy inclination of mine makes things like planning for the future or healing my heart particularly trying. I'll be feeling great, confidently gliding along one day and then BAM! I crumble again. Or vice versa, of course. And you know, I'm shocked every time my inconsistent little heart does that erratic about-face of hers. Eh. One day I'll catch on.